The 5 Hottest Musicians In Your Scene
Hot is a word that can be defined in many ways, as we all know. We were aiming for all the meanings of hot when we asked Fringe readers to nominate the hottest musicians in our scene. I ask that you set aside the assumption that this article is just about musicians who are physically heating up the scene, and take in the fact that these musicians are heating up the scene with the buzz that their music has created, somewhat like a wildfire. We were bombarded by nominations and it was a hard job for me to pick from all of them. The readers did a great job pleading the cases of their nominees and my choices were definitely swayed by the most devoted fans. I am proud to present to you the five musicians who made it as the hottest and agreed to sit through a blistering photo session.
Ericka Davis
Vocalist for Four Barrel
Fringe: How does it feel to be nominated by fans as one of the HOTTEST Musicians in Nor Cal? Erica: I feel completely flattered! A friend told my husband about it and he spread the word to all his friends and then our fans took it from there so I guess this means all my vanity is finally paying off! Fringe: What do you think makes a person HOT? Erica: Passion, confidence, personality, warmth and smiles for people - not having “F*** Off” written across their forehead - chicks like that lose their sizzle fast! Fringe: What is the current news with your band? Upcoming events, plans etc? Erica: In May we won “Best Top 5 Local Bands” in the KCRA’s Best of Sacramento’s A-List contest so that was a thrill for us! http://kcra.cityvoter.com/winners/kcra-3-alist-contest/861/arts-and-entertainment/local-bands This honor for me is the cherry on top!) Now we’re gearing up for a kickass busy summer line-up with shows all over the Sac area as well as fun on the River and of course our hometown Woodland Fair! But even after having the honor of opening for The Animals at last year’s Dixon May Fair, the Earthquake Festival in Winters blew us away and really made us feel like rock stars! They’ve asked us back again this year so we are really looking forward to this August so we can shake it up again! Fringe: Do you think your band members will tease you or commend you on this accomplishment? Erica: Hey, I’m the chick in the band… it’s my job to get everyone hot and bothered so I’m sure they’ll commend me for doing a good job of it and getting the band noticed even more! F. Who do you think is a hot musician? Erica: Strong and passionate women like Debra Harry are hot how they’re not afraid to strut their shit. As far as the opposite sex, Sting’s talent, confidence and sexy voice makes me melt! www.myspace.com/singitloudericka
Chelsea Wolfe
Vocalist/Guitarist for Red Host
Solo Vocalist/Guitarst
Fringe: How does it feel to be nominated by fans as one of the HOTTEST Musicians in Nor Cal? Chelsea: I was surprised I guess. Fringe: What do you think makes a person HOT? Chelsea: When someone is a good human being with something special about them.. and a pretty mouth. I love mouths. Fringe: What is the current news with your band? Upcoming events, plans etc? Chelsea: I am currently recording my second solo album. Not sure of the release date yet but I’m having a lot of fun working on it. Red Host will be playing Concert in the Park (at Cesar Chavez Plaza) July 25th and we have some other shows coming up. Other things are in the works but nothing is set in stone yet. Fringe: Do you think your band members will tease you or commend you on this accomplishment? Chelsea:: I think they’re indifferent. They’re pretty cute themselves. Fringe:Who do you think is a hot musician? Chelsea: Hmm.. Devendra Banhart is beautiful, Josh Klinghoffer, Josh Homme, the Coco Rosie girls, Vincent Gallo. Locally - Terra Lopez/Sister Crayon (especially when she is singing) and Robby Moncrieff. That’s a lot of hot people. What can I say, I don’t hold back when it comes to compliments.
Brent Ginn
Guitarist of Save And Continue
Fringe: How does it feel to be nominated by fans as one of the HOTTEST Musicians in Nor Cal? Brent: Pretty Shocking actually, Its was cool and quite the compliment, just for the sheer fact a S&C member got nominated! I was stoked. Fringe: What do you think makes a person HOT? Brent: Just being a cool person. And having confidence in them self, and what they do. Fringe: What is the current news with your band? Upcoming events, plans etc? Brent: Save And Continue just released their second album “Perfect Violence” and we’re gonna be playing at the Fire Escape July 25th with One Dying Secret and Without Tomorrow. Its gonna be a great show! Plus we’re putting a tour together down south for the summer. That is gonna be great. 4 dudes in a cramped van traveling through So Cal, Nevada, and Texas. All we’re gonna be wearing is bags of ice, that’s what’s gonna be “HOT”. Fringe: Do you think your band members will tease you or commend you on this accomplishment? Brent: Commend this is badass, I want a trophy! Hell, they’re probably gonna tease the ba-jesus out of me, but I know the mirror will always be my friend! Fringe. Who do you think is a hot musician? Brent: Oats from “Hal and Oats”. Visit Save and Continue at myspace.com/saveandcontinue
Stephanie Flynn
Vocalist of Claudia’s Ashes
Fringe: How does it feel to be nominated by fans as one of the HOTTEST Musicians in Nor Cal? Stephanie: To be honest, it was a total suprise. I am the last person that thought I’d ever earn such a kick-ass award. I am extremely grateful to our supporters and I am totally flattered that anybody thought to nominateme! Seriously, it tickles me pink. It made my year. Fringe: What do you think makes a person HOT? Stephanie: A person is hot, to me, when they can walk what they talk. Anybody who breaks the mold, goes against the grain and breaks all stereotypes is also hot. The more creative and unique the person, the more attractive they are Fringe: What is the current news with your band? Upcoming events, plans etc? Stephanie: We just released our sophomore album, “A Violent Metamorphosis”, in May. Our official CD release party is happening at the Boardwalk on August 6th when we open for OTEP, which is a huge honor for me because they are an inspiration. After that we plan on hitting the studio to begin work on our next album, and there is also an EP of remixes of our songs by other local artists in the works. Fringe: Do you think your band members will tease you or commend you on this accomplishment? Stephanie: My bassist says I only won this because they didn’t discover him yet. Being the only girl in a band full of boys (one of them being my brother), I am used to teasing like that. We are not only band mates, but friends, too, so I don’t mind. I will probably be ribbed for this, but in the end I think they will be happy for me. Fringe: Who do you think is a hot musician? Stephanie: Right now I am really digging Dominique from the Stolen Babies. Not only is she gorgeous but she is extremely unique in her singing, her stage presence and there seems to be a big buzz about the band right now. They are definitely going places. I also have a permanent crush on Rammstein, but shhh!, That’s a secret. myspace.com/claudiasashes
Kris Hartzell
Guitarist of Solomon’s Ashes
Fringe: How does it feel to be nominated by fans as one of the HOTTEST Musicians in Nor Cal? Kris: It feels great. Its an honor to be selected. Thanks to the fans. Fringe: What do you think makes a person HOT? Kris: I believe its having confidence, good looks of course, no BIG egos, and def having a passion for something you love. Definitely gotta have some attitude! Fringe: What is the current news with your band? Upcoming events, plans etc? Kris: Solomon’s Ashes is currently working on a 14 track album with Producer Duane Ramos at Different Fur Studios in the Mission of SF. Before the album drops, we are going to release a 5 song EP that will sample what the album will be like. Other than that, we are currently holding auditions for drummers. (If that’s you, hit us up). We are playing all intimate acoustic shows until we find a drummer. Fringe: Do you think your band members will tease you or commend you on this accomplishment? Kris: F*#k no! They commend me on this. We all have each other’s backs on things. Fringe: Who do you think is a hot musician? Kris: You know, I like that Taylor Swift. Haha. It would be too cliche to say that Christina Aguleira is hot. Hear Solomons Ashes on. www.radio-tzer.org or www.myspace.com/solomonsashes
Build Us Airplanes
There aren’t too many things that turn out to be surprising when covering bands in the area. I pretty much have an idea of what kind of music that group plays or if I’m going to enjoy it. But, after showing up at a north Vacaville garage last month to see Build Us Airplanes, two things seemed pretty obvious. Being that Matt Kadi, from Monster Squad, is the drummer, it seemed likely that the music would be fast and loud. And with Dorsey Thompson on bass, who spent some time in the Vacaville band Execution Style, it seemed there might be some hard-core style to it. None of that could be farther from the truth as this indie rock trio, with Richy Russell on guitar and lead vocals, has compiled a sound that they say is from their roots.
Starting as Anne Ramsey a few years ago, the three played a similar type of music, but an in increasing touring schedule for Monster Squad kept Kadi away from the group.
Now with that punk band taking a break, Build Us Airplanes was formed, if not re-formed, back in February.
“Monster Squad just got busy. It seemed pointless to have them just sitting around,” Kadi said. “But this time we wanted to start fresh with new ideas.”
So, sitting there on an exercise bike, watching the fellas warm up between the washing machine and water heater, I accepted the offer to throw on a pair of headphones. What soon filled the dimly lit garage was a sound that flies all over the map. It sounded one-part My Morning Jacket, a little Foo Fighters every now and then, and with some faster-paced Vampire Weekend sounds, as well.
At the time, the band was warming up for a rare Vacaville show at Pure Grain Bakery. The even more rare all-ages show would have one hitch: it was taking place at the same time the city hosts thousands downtown to, you guessed it, listen to music. Oh, and drink some beer.
“It’s going to be hard to compete; they have drink tickets,” Thompson said. “No, anybody that’s going out to a show, isn’t going down there to listen to a cover band.”
In true Vacaville fashion, the show was almost shut down because downtown officials feared it would be a rowdy show. After a little smooth-talking, they assured the powers-that-be the show would be a little more calm. For Richy, it was just another complication that has killed the music scene in the town. “It’s terrible. It’s completely different now,” he said. “People used to just go to shows, just to go.” The show was finally on, but with assurance that there would be no cherry pickers.
Going from hard-core and punk to the new sounds of Build Us Airplanes wasn’t that tough for Kadi and Thompson. Actually, the two said they have been playing the slower sounds for quite a while. “I actually never really listened to hard-core (before joining Execution Style). Good thing they never found out I wasn’t straight edge. Then it got really ‘bro,’” Thompson said. “I was always into indie.” “I’m moody. My parents got me into rock real early, then I got into punk and got rid of all my rock records,” Kadi said. “There is a lot of good music I missed out on.” So with a new sound, the band has come up with a different way to market their music, as well. So far, all their music is available online, and they say it will continue that way. Also a bit different is the band went old school and has released a couple split tapes with another group called Cannon and Clouds. There were, however, some hiccups there, as these days it seems a bit difficult to find a fully functioning tape deck. “The most important thing is people having your music. We’re not going to get rich doing this,” Russell said. Another idea that may have been spawned by an herbal think-session is the coloring book/CD the band wants to create. And, as for the name, there isn’t much significance. It was actually a name the guys heard from another band back in the day, so they decided to put it to use. It has, however, created some confusion when they are being introduced. It seems no one quite has it figured out. “We just needed a name and it worked. There’s really nothing behind it,” Kadi said. “Now everyone gets it wrong at least once a show. ‘We want to thank Manufacturing Boats.’”
For more information check out www.myspace.com/buildusairplanes. They will be playing August 2 at the Stork Club in Oakland and August 4 at the Elbo Room in San Francisco.
Punchface: Hot In Their Own Way
There won’t be a hotter issue of Fringe that July’s to throw in an introduction for the Bay Area band, Punchface, who is having quite a hot year.
They have a slot on this year’s Modesto X-fest, were they’ll be sharing a stage with such acts as Simple Plan and Powerman 5000, and they’re playing this year’s 4th of July music festival on the water at Mission Rock in San Francisco with acts like AKON and Flipsyde. To their fans it may seem like the band has gone from 0 to 60 in 10 seconds flat, going from sweating it out in a small practice space to being a band that can pack big venues over night.
The truth about all of their success – from the video on Youtube that has had nearly 100,000 plays to the more than 500 daily hits on their Myspace player is that this is the result of a band of brothers; Justin Alexander is their front man on vocals, Nick Machado plays bass, Ryan Tapley plays guitar, and Bob Dossa plays drums.
The band is known for working their asses off. These guys know that taking risk, both musically and personally, pays off. Their sound shifts between the uplifting and joyful “Celebrate” to dark and sinister “Sleep Forever.”
The band believes they are working on delivering a unique sound that may include different styles of music, and won’t sound cookie cutter. They compare themselves to four painters working on the same canvas. With each piece they create, they gel more and more as one mind. Yet they don’t think they want to limit themselves and say “oh we will never use red paint, that’s just not us,” or that they are going to use red paint in EVERY piece of art created.
Yet they believe there is a common thread in everything they do. “We all like music that moves you, makes you want to dance,” claims Alexander.
This is a plan that is working wonders for them so far. The band is able to
move seamlessly, not just from one song to the next, but in and out of multiple genres, with music that flows in smooth, fluid layers of eclectic musical brandish.
One would think that making music with the ability to perform such a feat would make for a group of artists who constantly pull their hair and are on the verge of killing each other. But that’s not the case according to Alexander “Discussions is a nice way of putting it. Ha ha. Like the painting analogy, I am sure each of us feel, that sometimes we are painting with three blind guys. Other times, this amazing synergy just explodes.
Sometimes the song almost writes itself, and it’s like sonic constipation. That kinda thing usually happens when we force the writing process. When something just clicks, we all feel it like an energy surge. But, the best part is that the process is a collaborative effort.” Things are happening at a breakneck pace for Punchface right now. The show offers are rolling in, the doors of a lot of great venues are wide open to them, the critics are praising them, and the local Nor Cal music fans are starting to pay close attention to them. But they remain humble. “We have never felt a sense of entitlement. If some awesome venue/person won’t give us the time of day, it’s because we haven’t earned it yet. And there are plenty of places where we have a lot to earn. Now when people are trying to get a hold of us, we feel grateful. For sure there are increasing demands but that’s a whole lot better than increasing obscurity!” explains Alexander.
The Coldest Beer in Sac
I think I have been given the coolest writing assignment ever. My editor, Charlie, wanted me to go around Sacramento and drink beer. The mission, if I chose to accept it (and I certainly did), was to find the coldest beer in town, generously offering myself as a guinea pig as a service to all you sweaty drunks. So, here are the results of my experiments conducted in our local brewhouses, in order of increasing coolness:
River City Brewing Company - 46°
545 Downtown Plaza, #115
My favorite beer here was the crisp amber Vienna Lager, but other good brews include their Hefeweizen and their Black River Stout. Since bad things tend to happen to me when I drink on an empty stomach (or maybe it’s me that does bad things when I drink on an empty stomach), I sampled the food along with the beverage selection during my visits, and I would have to say River City’s grub was by far the best. Brie cheese quesadilla with caramelized onions, ravioli with pesto, pine nuts and sun dried tomatoes…how can you go wrong? Make sure to ask for the dipping oil for the complimentary bread, it’s worth the extra buck. Service tends to be slow when you’re sitting on the patio. They promised to bring us our bread at least three times before it appeared. But you get a great view of Downtown Plaza, and the carousel horses with feather dusters on their head.
Hoppy Brewing Company - 45°
6300 Folsom Blvd.
Good brews here include the Stoney Face Red, the Hoppy Face Amber Ale, and for those who like it a little on the lighter side, the Liquid Sunshine Blonde Ale. I’ve not been terribly impressed with their food in the past, so I stuck to the one thing on the menu I know they do well: their house-made kettle chips. Crisp, slightly salty, and fresh from the fryer, they come with four dipping sauces, and go great with a cold beer. Be sure to ask for more of the house ketchup, which actually doesn’t taste like ketchup, but trust me, it’s always the first sauce you will run out of. The service was prompt and friendly, and I’ve noticed on more than one occasion that they seem to predominantly hire young attractive female servers. They also have a nice patio out front, which would be nicer without the noisy backdrop of Folsom Boulevard.
Brew It Up! Personal Brewery and Grill - 43°
801 14th St.
Brew It Up wins the gold star for having the most beers on tap: over 20 of their home-made brews are available at any time, and their selection is constantly changing. Some good choices from their diverse selection include the Marzen, the Czar’s Tar Imperial Stout, the Scotch Ale and the Northern Mild “Nutty” Brown. Their food is usually pretty good as well, offering your typical pub fare along with some more creative dishes. My favorite is the Grilled Baby Brie, an appetizer which is served with bread, caramelized onions, roasted red peppers, saut\éed mushrooms, and whole roasted garlic cloves. They do have one drawback, though: they don’t have an outdoor seating area, which is something I really enjoy on these warm summer nights. (At least I did before the air was so smoky you can barely breathe outside). I’ll forgive them, though, since you can actually go in and brew your own beer there. If you’ve never tried it, you should, since it’s a ton of fun.
Rubicon Brewing Company - 41°
2004 Capitol Ave.
Rubicon has long been a popular hot spot in Midtown. It’s not surprising, since they’ve got three things going for them: good location, good food, and good beer. I started off with the Amber, then tried their Salamante, a Mexican-style lager. Usually I’m not a big fan of lighter beers, but they claimed it was “Sacramento’s only beer for those hot summer days” and I must admit it was in fact quite refreshing. They also have a lovely creamy nitrogenated Stout, and a Monkey Knife Fight Pale Ale, which was a bit hoppy for my taste but is the coolest name for a beer, ever. For food, I tend to stick with their sandwiches, such as the pesto chicken or the pork tenderloin with apples, onions and bleu cheese. Make sure you are in no hurry when you visit, though. The place gets really busy and they never seem to have enough servers to cover the crowd.
Pyramid Alehouse - 39°
1029 K St.
And at last, the place with the official coldest beer in town, and really you really can’t complain about a beer served just above freezing on a 90-degree day! I can, however, complain about their service-or lack of it. I’ve had pretty mediocre service in the past here, but this particular visit was especially bad. After getting my food, no one came out to the patio to check on me for a good half hour or so after I finished my meal. My server was incognito, and the other server, while very attentive to her table, ignored me and my stacked plates every time she walked by. I was so irritated that I was seriously considering puling a dine-n-dash. The food can also be hit or miss, but for some reason I’ve usually had luck with their fish dishes like as the barley-crusted halibut, the salmon BLT, and the fish tacos. But, really, you come here for the beer, and they do serve good beer. My favorites are the wheat beers: their Hefeweizen is a classic, and the Amber Weizen and the unique Apricot Weizen are also very tasty.
July 2008
IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW ALREADY
• After one year of not playing shows due to the drummer being diagnosed with Lymphoma, Jade of Days are doing a comeback show on Friday, August 29 at the Britannia Arms in Downtown San Jose. This is quite an achievement since no one knew if Junior Medeiros, the drummer, would survive this. The fans are quite excited to hear that Jade of Days is playing again soon and the show should be absolutely packed with people showing their support. Check them out at: .myspace.com/jadeofdaysmusic
• Bleed The Sky will team up with Straight Line Stitch, Within Chaos and Ekotren for the Brew-Tality Tour 2008 beginning at the end of July.
• Artist Joshua Emerick, who has previously worked with The Beatles, Cky, Social Distortion And Sonic Youth, has created a Death Angel-themed comic book in collaboration with the Death Angel bandmembers.
• Capital Chaos has posted video footage of the Oakland, California-based death metal band All Shall Perish performing a new song, to be included on the group’s forthcoming album, on June 13, 2008 at The Boardwalk in Orangevale. Also on the bill were The Warriors, Since The Flood and The Acacia Strain.
IN & OUT OF THE STUDIO
• March Into Paris, Is releasing their debut E.P. July 15th.
• Bipolar of Sacramento is planning to hit the studio at the end of July for the first time in 2 years. They will be recording at least 3 songs for a new demo.
• Being Killed, the Southern California-based death metal band featuring Dave Astor (Cattle Decapitation, The Locust, Pathology), Tim Tiszczenko (Pathology) and Levi Fuselier (Disgorge, Pathology), has posted two brand new songs on its MySpace page. The tracks “Kill Yourself” and “Apocalypse Begun” come off the group’s new CD, “Kill Yourself”, which is due in August on Comatose Music.
LINE-UP CHANGES
• Ankla, the Los Angeles-based band led by former Puya guitarist Ramón Ortíz, has announced its debut hometown show with new singer Eddie Macias.
A Medical Cat–astrophy
At the very beginning of our relationship, we both agreed that neither one of us had any desire to have children. We love our friend’s and family’s kids, but it’s just not for us. Call us selfish; we are. We feel it’s hard enough to try and grow and become better people than to have to help mold and raise another human being into being our vision of the ideal person. So, we decided instead to raise animal companions.
Within the vegan community there exists a controversy regarding whether or not people should have pets. The argument on one side is that animals should be allowed to live as freely on the planet as we do and not be kept and controlled for our own selfish needs and amusement. Side two’s debate stresses the point that there is already a growing number of domesticated animals that could not easily survive alone in the wild, much less within the not-so-natural cities created by human hands. Taking more credence in the latter of both very reasonable opinions, we have a pair of feline animal friends sharing residency with us. Maybe this could also be attributed to our own selfishness but, then again, these are not merely “pets” to us. These two extremely developed personalities are family. They are just as important and loved as we are to them. And yes, we do feed them real cat food. They are natural carnivores, not herbivores. Although this is a separate topic entirely of another dispute among vegans, it would seem much more hypocritical to deny them what they would eat in nature than to force them to eat only vegetables. Of course we don’t give them beef. Until you can show us a domestic house cat taking down a cow, it’s just not going to happen.
About two weeks ago our love and loyalty to one of our “children” was tested. The older of the duo is a big male tabby. He’s very set in his ways and day-to-day rituals, as is his smaller, Persian “sister.” One day we noticed him in his litter box about every five minutes and occasionally crying. It was obvious that something wasn’t quite right. We headed off to work hoping it would pass, but growing concern led us to both leave early and rush him into the nearest emergency vet. After about two and a half hours it was determined he had a urinary tract infection. We were given three medications and a hefty $260 bill. A full week of multiple struggles to administer the required daily doses of pills seemed to eventually pay off. He appeared to be well again and back to his normal, anxious self. Little did we know that we’d be going through it all again in just over another week’s time; and tenfold. We awoke to find him barely able to walk in a hunched over position, continually squatting as if trying to urinate, and repeatedly licking his nether region. This looked much worse than the prior episode. After a few hours back at the vet confirmed our fears. His urethra had completely swollen shut and he required immediate hospitalization. Over 48 hours later we got the call that he was ready to be released. We headed out almost an hour earlier than necessary and brought home an extremely grateful cat with a cone on his head, more painkillers and anti-inflammitorys, and a wallet that was now an additional $1,000 lighter.
It turns out he suffers from urinary tract disease that is not that uncommon in male cats. This means that – yeah, you guessed it – it can happen again. We are taking all necessary precautions to prevent a reoccurrence. However, if it does strike again we will be better prepared financially as well as educated on how to dissolve the problem before it hits critical mass. Some of you say “it’s just a cat” and worse, “just euthanize it.” We say, A) You’re just a douchebag, and B) That’s not an option. Until you experience the type of bond we have with our furry “children,” you will never truly understand the emotional drain it can have on you to nearly lose one. They are worth every dollar spent and we’ll spend as many as it takes to make sure they have the fully enriched life and love that all sentient beings deserve. So, wish our little “family” luck as we do to you and yours.
Until next time, take care, and VEG OUT! –The Vegans.
Please send all correspondence to HereComeTheVegans@yahoo.com.
Again with the Promoters
Back in January I wrote a column about promoters and my frustrations with the few in the scene that aren’t doing their jobs as promoters. I received some comments about that column from other local musicians feeling the same way, so I decided to revisit this frustrating topic.
Right now in Sacramento there are too many promoters doing bad business, and too many bands getting the short end of the stick from these promoters.
See, the local club owners like to hire promoters to book shows so they don’t have to handle it. These promoters are expected to book the bands, promote the show with flyers, advertising and Internet presence. It’s also a promoter’s job to set the show’s door charge and to pay the bands after they play.
Lately I’ve been hearing from a lot of bands that they’re playing shows with a decent crowd and then not getting paid.
We musicians have to pay for a lot already. The last thing we need is a greedy promoter taking money from us, too.
Doing the math for some of these shows, it’s utterly ridiculous that this is happening.
So, let’s paint the picture: 200 people at a show pay $8 to get in, and the total is $1,600. Let’s say there’s a sound person who charges $300, and that leaves $1,300. Then, let’s say that the promoter deserves 10 percent of what was brought in, and that leaves $1,170. So, the four bands who played should get $292.50 each. In a perfect world that’s how the shows should be handled.
However, a few crooked promoters have been pocketing the entire amount and not paying the bands or only paying $20 to $40. About 90 percent of the time the owners of the clubs have no idea this is happening.
Promoters, QUIT RIPPING OFF THE BANDS! We’re not idiots and we pay attention to how many people show up and pay.
Now, to my friends the bands: When booking a show, take the time to ask the promoters what their costs are ahead of time. Don’t let them stiff you! Get it in writing and when these shady promoters try to rip you off, bring the writing to the club owners and let them know what’s going on.
We need to take back this scene and make sure these shady promoters are not ruining venues. We’ve lost some great venues due to shady promoters doing bad business.
There are a handful of promoters doing great things in the scene and the bands know who they are. So, please don’t think I’m bashing every promoter, just the shady ones.
Get Trashed: Late Night at the Trash Film Orgy
“When you pass thru this portal, you leave all cares behind,” read the sign in the entryway of the Crest, and that night it seemed especially appropriate. It was approaching midnight, and zombies had taken over the stately and historic theatre-in other words, it was opening night for the Trash Film Orgy. The movie being shown that night was the cheesy horror classic Dawn of the Dead and, in tribute, performers as well as numerous audience members were adorned with ripped clothing, pale makeup and liberal amounts of fake blood.
The Trash Film Orgy (TFO) is far more than just a midnight movie showing. If you think you are going to sit quietly through a film with your sweetie, think again. And this opening night was no exception. Near the entrance of the theater was a Zombie Shoot-Out, where participants shot a Nerf gun at shuffling zombies in order to win prizes. You could also take a spin on the Wheel of Lootin’ or try your luck at the Zombie Survival Quiz. (I scored 39 out of 40 on the latter; you definitely want to have me around in the event of a zombie invasion.) A wacky stage show preceded the feature presentation, and zombie-attired audience members vied in a brain-eating contest during intermission. As for watching the movie, well, that was an experience in itself. Heckling is encouraged, and the shouted comments and cheers of the crowd often drowned out the dialogue of the movie.
I actually missed the first half of the movie, as I was down in the bar area having a drink with producers Christy Savage and Amy Slockbower. (Yes, they have a bar there.) I was surprised to find out that TFO was in its eighth year-all these years of living in Sacramento, and I’d been totally oblivious! It all started with the closure of a similar theatre show run by local comedian Keith Lowell Jensen at the Colonial Theatre. Having nothing better to do, Christy approached Sid at the Crest, and TFO was born. The core of TFO also includes Darin Wood, who writes all off the scripts for the stage shows, and does the voice for TFO’s mascot, the Mighty Tiki. In addition to these four, a typical night also requires a slew of volunteers to be on hand to run, and many of tehse volunteers are involved in other local theatre groups.
The choice of movies varies, but they typically fall under the vague category of “cult classics.” Campy horror is by far the most common. Past features include such favorites as Night of the Living Dead, Friday the 13th, Halloween, and An American Werewolf in London. This year’s upcoming shows include The Warriors and They Live! In recent years, TFO has ventured into making their own films, and their titles are surely deserving of eventually reaching cult status themselves: Curse of the Golden Skull, Cheerleaders from Hell, and Monster from Bikini Beach. Their latest creation, Grunk the Smasher, will premiere in 3D (yes, in 3D!) at the July 26 show. And that’s not all that is new this year. For the first time, they are accepting original content from the outside. They are seeking short animated films of three minutes or less for this year’s Trash Til Dawn on August 2, which will be “all cartoons all night.” (If you’d like to submit, contact info can be found on the website: www.trashfilmorgy.com.) I tried to find out what other cartoons they would be showing, but if they told me, they’d have to kill me. “Trash Til Dawn is always a secret,” Christy insisted. “We never release our titles cuz it’s like a fun game, you never know what you’re going to get.”
However, TFO is known as much for its stage show and audience participation as much as it is for its quirky movie choices. Regular attendees recognize many of the characters from show to show. The caped and masked El Tigre Diablo made an appearance the night I visited, as did the new favorite, the Bloody Bunny. Evil Sid, the theatre owner, was greeted with boos and hisses from the audience as she threatened to shut down TFO and show only French art films. Sid really is the owner of the Crest, and Christy insisted she really is evil. Amy notes the interactive and organic interaction between the performers and audience. “We make up different characters and bring them out for our stage shows, and the audience chooses which ones stick,” she explains. “We didn’t pick the bunny to be the next big hit, but he is, and we have to run with it.” And indeed, sometimes it’s hard to pick out the audience from the performers, as people tend to attend the shows in costume.
One thing missing from this year’s TFO is their infamous Zombie Parade, in which anyone who showed up in zombie regalia could shuffle around town with them. “We were thinking about doing one this year, but they’re pretty hip right now. There’s been three or four of them in our town in the last year, and we’re always trying to be different,” Christy tells me. However, TFO’s first Zombie Parade in 2001 will always carry the dubious honor of being the first in recorded history. (According to Wikipedia, at least.) Now, I know you all know that Sacramento is a city with a lot of history, but I have to say, that is way cooler than Sutter’s Fort.
In a Dirty Glass: Learning the Science of Mixology
My search for a paying job has been lurching along for months now, hindered mightily by the fact that I don’t like getting up in the morning. Without a forced schedule, my circadian rhythms dictate that I don’t fall asleep until 3 a.m., wake around 11:00, and remain catatonic until caffeine hits my bloodstream. After 33 years, I finally realized my destiny: To be a bartender. Or a motel desk clerk.
The decision to attend bartending school was made only after pondering a Zen-like “if a tree falls in the forest” puzzle: everyone knows that the only way to learn bartending is to work in a bar, but the only way to get a bartending job is with previous bartending experience. After much research, I still had no idea whether or not a certificate from a bartending college would score me a job, but at least it put off the search for another two weeks. And, after all, I wasn’t looking for Coyote Ugly. Just a nice quiet dive that sold Pabst in cans, where I could call the customers “hon” and play Tanya Tucker on the jukebox.
Now, if I happened to be a washed-up rock star, my decision to return to school would likely inspire a short-lived reality show. But since I’m merely an unknown freelance writer who’s never been married to a Baywatch cast member and been taped having sex on a boat, and “school” was actually two weeks of memorizing cocktail recipes, we’ll just have to pretend.
Episode 1.
I arrive in an impossibly dank room with no windows and two fake bars set up along each side of the room. All of the liquor bottles are familiar brand names, but they don’t hold actual liquor. The instructor — let’s call him Floyd — is a haggard, eccentric old man who cracks a lot of lame jokes about women. My roommate has been asking me if showing cleavage will be part of the curriculum, and I won’t be surprised if it is. Floyd tells us that mixing drinks isn’t rocket science, but we’re still pretty nervous about memorizing so many recipes in so few days. (The soundtrack to this episode features the theme from “Smokey and the Bandit:” “we’ve got a long way to go/and a short time to get there”.) We practice pouring one-ounce shots repetitiously, careful not to let them spill over, as over-pouring will cost our future bosses money. The idea is to count to four while pouring, and so that you can always pour a perfect ounce by counting to four. The problem is that everyone seems to count at a different pace, so you could just as easily count slowly to three, or quickly to five. It may not be rocket science, but there are mathematical complexities. I work next to an obnoxious fake gangsta-type guy who holds up a one-ounce shot glass and asks, “How much is a quarter ounce? This?” I tell him the glass holds one ounce, so, one quarter of that glass. Instead he holds up a larger glass and says, “This?” I shut my mouth and make martinis out of water.
Episode 2.
The obnoxious fake gangsta guy (you know, one of those guys who was raised in the suburbs, but wears loose, shiny basketball shorts and uses street slang?) has started yelling, “What up, Rebel?” every time he sees me. This is in reference to my pink “Rebel at Heart” T-shirt from the teen section at Wal-Mart. Five dollars, yo. One of the female students mentions right away that a cockroach has run over her hand. Today we learn tropical drinks, which are a bitch because they each have about 42 different ingredients and, unlike martinis, I don’t drink these so I don’t already know what’s in them.
Floyd makes a point a point of teaching us that the way to avoid getting a hangover is to drink lots of water and avoid sugary beverages. I had figured this out, through trial and error, several years ago so I will share the benefit of my experience and Floyd’s lesson plan and tell you that while a Singapore Sling might be delicious and irresistible, it will leave you with deep regrets the next day — not unlike the people you might pick up while drinking them.
The other lesson we get from Floyd today is that he’s come up with cute little phrases to help us remember drink recipes. The first letter of each word is supposed to correspond with the first letter of each liquor, so “bad gas ruins oral sex” signals the recipe for a Fog Cutter: brandy, gin, rum, orange juice, sweet and sour mix. Likewise, “bitter men often slap girls” indicates a mixture of bitters, Meyer’s rum, orange juice, sweet and sour, and grenadine. That’s what we call Planter’s Punch. I can’t give away any more of these things, or I’d have to charge you the $200 I paid to hear them. What I didn’t understand, however, was how it would be any easier to memorize these phrases than to memorize the recipe.
While filling the “juice” bottles from a big bucket of orange water, I notice that the spouts are coated with mold inside. All we do is fill glasses with dyed water, scoop ice and dump it back in the sink. All of the bottles are concealing mold, and the well trays are lined with it. I choose to believe that the bottles in a real bar would be sanitized by alcohol. We run out of ice early in the day and Floyd goes out, cursing, to buy some, leaving us to intently pour shot after shot like two parallel rows of boozebots.
Episode 3.
We learn about sours, Collins’, teas and lemonades. Teas do not contain tea and lemonades do not contain lemonade, though several of them do contain a splash of lime juice. Floyd’s repeated jokes have worn thin with me, though the other students don’t seem to tire of repeating them. I’ve noticed that most of the guys sound normal when they talk to me, but when they speak to each other, they put on the gangsta slang. I wonder what jobs they’ve all held before. Of course, I’m the oldest one in the room, besides Floyd. They should be addressing me as ma’am.
I have completely forgotten all of the tropical drink recipes from yesterday. And we are out of ice again. The class is overcrowded, not everyone gets a station, and one ice machine clearly isn’t enough to keep up. With three classes per day, the school doesn’t seem to be pulling in enough to cover the high overhead costs of bleach and ice. I wonder how much the teachers are paid, and it worries me. It can’t be all that much, yet it must be more than an actual bartender — otherwise, they’d still be tending real bars, right?
Episode 4.
All the students are burned out by now. The lecture today is about customer service and legal issues, rather than mixing drinks. I start to get a clear picture of what it would be like to peddle alcohol to serious drunks, to have to cut them off and clean their vomit off the floor. Floyd tells a colorful story about almost getting hit with a nail gun behind the bar, and I realize that as a bartender I’ll have to endure jokes even lamer than Floyd’s.
After the lecture, some of the second week students take their test. Floyd names two drinks at a time, then busies himself while they make it. I am watching closely enough to see several mistakes, so I figure that as long as the drink comes out the right color in the right glass, it’s a pass. No one fails today. I still force myself to practice, because I can’t remember the tropical recipes without looking in the book. I vow to study over the weekend.
Episode 5.
I forgot to study over the weekend. I’m a martini-making genius, but I can’t remember a single tropical drink recipe, even though the guy who couldn’t divide one by four on the first day is now whipping out fake Mai Tais with confidence. I’m beginning to fear I have a cocktail-related learning disability. In the fourth grade, I could barely grasp even remedial multiplication, and now I can’t remember if a Blue Hawaiian starts with vodka or rum. I only know it has blue in it. And who even orders these drinks? Everyone I know drinks rum and Coke, or vodka and orange juice, or beer. I don’t expect to get a job on Fantasy Island.
Floyd actually addresses this in today’s lesson on highballs. Even though we have to memorize the official names for fairly simple drinks, he says that most people will just say what they want, i.e. “Jack and Coke.” And, just when you’re feeling all superior because you already know that a Cape Cod is just vodka and cranberry juice, you suddenly have to remember the difference between a Cape Cod, a Sea Breeze, a Bay Breeze, and a Madras. It’s all in the juice.
Episode 6.
This time I did study. I even wrote the harder recipes on index cards and made my roommate test me. By this time, I’ve given in to Floyd’s method. For some reason, it must be easier for human brains to remember somewhat off-color phrases than basic words like “gin” or “rum.” Besides, I’m starting to feel that Floyd is a kindred spirit — just a tired old guy who wants to be left alone but has to endure endless ice runs to pay the bills. I can only imagine how tired he would be if he had actually let us use the blenders.
This is a pretty slow episode, so it might be a good time for a montage of Floyd footage: Floyd cussing out his ex-wife, Floyd yelling “don’t know, don’t care!” when I ask what Benedictine is, Floyd smoking outside the glass front door, Floyd practicing his fake smile for the benefit of the ladies, Floyd reminding us for the 18th time that he may be real pretty at closing time, but he gets less pretty in the morning.
Floyd has claimed several times, and loudly, that he doesn’t do flair bartending, indicating that only a bleeping idiot would. Flair is when the bartender swings the bottles and glasses around, flipping them over his/her wrists and elbows before catching them and pouring the drink. “What do I do? I make a g@#$#mn good drink. That’s my f&#%ing job.” But for the purpose of our montage, it would be fun to watch him try.
Episode 7.
Today’s lesson is about shooters — another realm of the liquor world with which I am unfamiliar. Of course I’ve done shots, but I mostly stick to tequila. The rest of them remind me of cough syrup.
There is a practice test in the book, and another student asks me the questions as I casually mix fake drink after fake drink. Some of them look tasty, especially the ones with brown dye. The annoying gangsta guy has taken sips now and then, saying, “What? It’s just food coloring.” I try to explain about the mold, but he doesn’t see it as a problem.
The guy who’s been testing me comes to a question about beer. We haven’t actually talked about beer at all, and tomorrow is the last day. I look in the book and realize there is quite a bit of information on beer and wine that was never covered in class. Surely it’s as important to know how to tap a keg as it is to layer shots? Perhaps knowing the proper way to pour a Guinness would be helpful behind a bar? The book also mentions the importance of lighting a customer’s cigarette and keeping the ashtrays clean. I imagine working in some swinging tiki bar in the ’70s, where men with mustaches sip daiquiris and ask women with feathered hair what their signs are.
Episode 8.
Test day. Floyd teaches us how to make cream drinks by explaining that they contain whatever the name of the drink is plus Half & Half. Thus, a Golden Dream would be… uh… something golden. He assures us that no one ever orders these drinks, which is good because it’s the last day and we don’t have time to learn them.
I take the written test and get almost every answer, but am marked down because I forget to mention the amount of vodka it takes to turn a drink into a screaming drink, and the amount of Galliano it takes to put a drink up against the wall. I’ll give you a hint: it’s half an ounce. That would be about one half of a one-ounce shot glass. It’s not rocket science.
Flying the Heavenly Skies
Has the summer heat got you down? Are you looking for a way to beat the boredom? Nothing exciting to do? Well, guess what? There is a thrilling experience waiting for you just over the mountain! If zooming through the open mountain air at a speed up to 50 miles per hour with a breathtaking view of Lake Tahoe in front of you is your cup of tea, then you’ve got to make the trip up to Heavenly and ride the Heavenly Flyer, the longest zip-line experience of its kind in North America.
Does the thought of hanging from a cable 150 feet in the air make you nervous? Yeah, me too. But, let me tell you, the waiting and anticipation is the hardest part. Once the gate opens and the wind comes zooming past your face, it is exhilarating.
I recently made a trip up to Tahoe for a short vacation, and learned of this new attraction at Heavenly. Being the avid thrill-seeker that I am, I just had to make arrangements to get back to Tahoe and give it a shot.
Step one – pick up tickets and hop on the gondola. No, I don’t mean those nifty little boats that slowly float you and your loved one through the canals of Venice. I mean the little bubbles that seat up to six passengers and carry you up a steep mountain. I’ll be honest with you. Gondolas have made me nervous since I was a little kid learning how to ski. I’ve always had this intense fear of the thing breaking free from the cable and dropping me to my demise. (Of course this type of thing never happens. I’ve just seen way too many movies.) But, to be certain, I asked the gentleman in the Guest Services office if there has ever been any kind of accident involving the gondolas. The answer was no. However, the long ride up the mountain still had my nerves on edge a bit, especially when it would occasionally stop for a short amount of time.
The first stop on the gondola lets you off at a sky deck, offering some of the most, well, heavenly views of the Tahoe area imaginable. To ride the Flyer though, you have to remain seated in the gondola until you reach the terminal. There you will find a restaurant, a bar, and some of awesome hiking adventures.
Step two – Walk over to the Tamarack Express chairlift. Here I had my first sighting of the Heavenly Flyer in action. All you have to do is look up and see the riders zipping by above you. It was here where I first asked myself, “How on earth does that thing stop?”
The Tamarack Express is a chairlift that seats up to six people, and carries you the rest of the way up the mountain to the Heavenly Flyer launch pad, located at an elevation of 9,580 feet. It was a bit odd riding a chairlift during the summer, with no snow beneath me to soften my impact in case of an accident. There went my nerves again. I’m actually okay with chairlifts, but there’s always that chance, right? Truthfully, it wasn’t the chair that made me nervous, it was the fact that I was mere moments away from experiencing something I’ve never done before. I just like to be dramatic. Plus, the chair had a safety bar, so I knew everything was okay.
Step three – Exit the Tamarack Express and walk over to the launch pad. The butterflies in my belly were starting to get a little more active now. When my launch time arrived, my wife and I (she was more nervous than me, let the records show) stepped onto the deck and harnessed up, butterflies turning into bats. I watched the attendant closely to make sure everything was safe and secure.
Three, two, one, the gates opened and off we went, quickly picking up speed as we descended down the mountain. The fear turned into excitement as the wind blew into my face and the beauty of the scenery surrounded me. There truly is no better way to see Tahoe than while soaring through the open air.
After roughly 80 seconds, an earlier thought popped back into my head. “The landing pad is getting closer and closer, and I’m not slowing down at all! How on earth does this thing stop?” That question was very soon answered as I quickly came to a stop by some sort of device on the cable. Getting off, I felt refreshed and exhilarated. The only nervousness left in me stemmed from the fact that I still had to ride the gondola back down to the base of the mountain, which alone offers a peaceful ride with some stunning views of the mountains and lake.
The Heavenly Flyer opened on February 29, 2008, and is the longest ride of its kind in the continental U.S. at 3,200 feet. It flies you at 50 miles per hour over a vertical drop of 525 feet.
The ride is open through September 1, 2008, and operates between the hours of 11:00 AM to 4:30 PM. The gondola opens at 10:00 AM. Riders must be at least 42 inches tall, and cannot exceed 275 pounds. The cost is $30.00 per rider for the flyer, in addition to the price of the gondola ticket ($30.00 adults, $26.00 teens and seniors, $20.00 kids, 5 and under free).
To get there, simply hop on Highway 50 until you reach South Lake Tahoe, approaching Stateline, NV. When you see the large casinos approaching, keep your eyes to the right and you’ll see the gondola cables. Tickets are purchased right at the base of the gondola.
The experience was amazing, and I hope to make it up there again soon. For more information, go to www.skiheavenly.com.
Before you ride up, make sure to wear sunscreen. I, for some reason, didn’t give this any thought at all, and my face is paying for it dearly.
