Trails Restaurant in Sacto
Another escapade to find a cheap meal for two at Fringe Magazine, and this month we’re headed south.
By complete accident me and a fellow writer ended up at Sacramento’s Trail’s Restaurant just beyond Broadway Avenue on 21st Street as we found a new favorite spot to remind us about places and memories we’ve visited in the past. On a Kinks type of sunny afternoon, I was in the mood for something cheap, and something good. My pal, Giner, and I were headed for a late breakfast. After we crossed Broadway, confused about whether to take a left or a right at the next light, we spotted Trail’s Restaurant, and immediately knew that would be our final destination.
We were there the day before what I thought was going to be St. Patty’s Day, so I decided to get the lunch special: Corned Beef and Cabbage. “The Giner” went with the reliable Club sandwich, a baked potato, and some free water. Little did we know, I would be duped into thinking I was fulfilling a hearty Irish tradition only to be let down as it was later discovered the holiday was celebrated two days before.
Service
As the waiter spouted off possible side orders and salad dressings, it was almost as if he had been reciting the list in perfect rhythm for years. Exactly what I love about your typical family-run diner. I went with the “E-Tal-E-On” salad and my trusty accomplice chose the potato salad.
After 10 minutes and three seconds of play in the game being broadcast behind us, lunch was served.
The Food
The Corned Beef was some of the most tender slabs of brisket I’ve ever had, and although I’ve never had the combination before, it was a bit of a surprise to find that something sounding as awful as hot steamy cabbage could be so moist, and taste so fresh. The meal gets five stars in my book. Although a fraction of a star could be deducted for the salad being drowned in dressing, you can’t really complain when you’re in a good old- fashion diner with wild Western cowboys on the walls, and Christmas lights strung year-round.
The best part about the meal was that it’s unwavering temperature as we told three or four ridiculously long stories ranging from miniature life chronicles to mentions of Pennsylvania counterparts where a family of four can eat for under twenty bucks at the “Trail’s End Restaurant” off the 118 in Sweet Valley.
Ambience
Overall, the atmosphere was perfect for having a comfortable talk about life goals, long term plans, and the fact that I don’t get out much these days. Low volumed anticipations of March Madness in the background, vintage brown leather seats underneath us, and wooden laminated tables, with plenty of water refills as we received the best service I’ve had since arriving in Sacramento six weeks last Tuesday.
The Bill
The bill came out to $15.19, and after the tip we scored a successful two full meals for under $20. I have since gone back, just to hear the sizzles of the charcoal grill, drink the endless cups of coffee, and hang out with the cook who sports some of the coolest facial hair in Sacramento.
Trail’s Restaurant
2530 21st St
Sacramento, CA 95818
(916) 456-9811
The Rabbit
My girlfriend couldn’t stop raving about her new toy over a spicy Mexican dinner one Wednesday night. It was a usual long day and the Don Julio was going down like water. She admitted to having a rather excessive masturbation routine: every night, at least once, and to her that was completely normal. Feeling slightly insecure about my own, wimpy masturbation schedule, I dragged her with me to the sex shop to make an important new purchase.
My Rabbit was $60 and wasn’t even the best model available. It was gorgeous looking, with lustrous pinks and blues and white pearls inside. The “rabbit” was leaping from the base, with long, rubber ears, and for some reason I was totally drawn to the waterproof version.
As the clerk demonstrated its multiple functions, how to adjust the settings and replace the batteries, he made sure to also justify the universal reason that all people should enjoy sexual self-pleasure, mumbling a selection of truths like, “It never substitutes sex, but is more like meditation, and something you could do with someone else but is better done alone”. He said it in a way that seemed both way too intense and way too rehearsed. I really just wanted to get the hell out of there.
The next day I proudly blabbed away about my new rabbit. My girls showed exaggerated interest but the guy I was seeing could barely think about anything else the rest of the day. He was required to see it before our date that night, so I showed it off to him like it was my new puppy, so cute and smart and a great companion. My poor guy was feeling like chopped liver. Examining its every angle, curve, length and detail, his anticipated probing was making me over reluctant to turn the power on, but I went ahead and kicked him right in the groin while he was already down. Defeated and dumbfounded, he gently handed me the rabbit and I put him safely away in my top drawer.
Seeing him so bent out of shape, I wanted to tell him that I was over-emphasizing my excitement about my new toy, that I used it the night before and lasted about ten seconds, that it was a climax at lighting speed and barely enjoyable. I wanted him to think that I was so comfortable with masturbating that I didn’t even think to reassure him that I enjoy the real thing WAY, way, way better. Nothing better. I love it.
Next came his curiosity to watch me with my rabbit in action. This I put a quick stop to. Maybe I wasn’t ready for the pressure of an audience. I had no control over my timing and still needed a lot more practice. Besides that, I had a yucky feeling in my gut about getting myself off with my guy there studying me. What if I didn’t look sexy or made weird noises or my legs went stiff? Time passed and I wasn’t getting any closer to feeling comfortable breaking out the rabbit during an intimate night with him. Call me a prude. Call me a tease. Call me a lady who thinks that’s just gross. I don’t need to watch him masturbate. I know he does it and that’s all the information I need.
It’s a beautiful thing sometimes being a woman and having the upper hand over a man, especially when it comes to sex. A man who loves sex will try to have his cake and eat it, too. And for me it’s just better to eat my own cake in private.
It Happens Every Year
Originally, I did not have plans to follow up the February column with more “what you don’t know stuff.” I did want to start giving you real information and knowledge about instruments, stuff that you can do yourself. Then, the after-Christmas crowd started to bring their stuff in. Most of them have NEVER been to a guitar tech of any kind. It happens EVERY year. It was then I realized that I had to get two of these stories to you. You’ll see that you really have to know about your instruments and what to look for.
I also didn’t want you to think that I have a vendetta against Guitar Center or Musician’s Friend or Sam Ash or any other major music retailer. The problem I have is with the consumer not knowing what to look for in a poorly built or ill designed instrument. A guy brought in an acoustic guitar that he had received as a gift in 2006. At the time he didn’t know much about playing, so he didn’t know much about how it should sound. I was asked to give it the once-over. Basically he wanted a setup. He thought the intonation was off and he couldn’t keep it in tune very well (these are things that happen when you actually learn how to play, your ears get better) By the way this was a highly regarded, Far East made, second tier model of a US maker. I did my thing and I couldn’t get it right. So I did it a third time. That’s when I started seeing the problems. Yes PROBLEMS.
More than one. The fret slot was cut on a Friday, manually I guess. There is a mathematical formula used to locate the fret slots. They were in the wrong spots to get the right notes. Normally this is done by a CNC cutter, so they’re perfect. Not this time. On top of that, maybe three or four of the frets toward the headstock were crooked. I was blown away and really did not know how I was going to even explain it. Well, I did and I explained my crusade to at least have instruments checked when you buy them.
Story #2. I believe that this young gentleman was 13 years old. It was his first guitar and he was pumped. This was a Christmas gift. It was from one of the newer FAR FAR East builders that included the guitar, amp and accessories all bearing the same name.. All of the aforementioned dealers carry these for about $150. But it was hard to play.
The action had to be ½” high or more over the 12th fret. He knew to call someone about it. His uncle, who was the gift giver, told him that if he couldn’t play it easily for some reason that it just probably needed to be adjusted. He was right. There’s the argument I get. Why spend $35, even once, to get a new $150 guitar right?
I know a 13-year-old kid that has a screaming little guitar he is happy as hell with and a 30 something gentleman that has a $500+ brand name guitar that he is pissed about because the warranty had run out months before he came to me.
To help everyone out, I’m gutting my Web-site and filling with a lot of my business database. I am rebuilding as I write this, so I hope to have the basic site up when you read this. Originally built to promote my business, ROC Instruments, I now find it is not so necessary. Loyal return business and comments you’ve made on guitar repair sites all over made me believe that I could make the site a little more interesting.
Check it out rocinstruments.com . Keep coming back, I am going to stuff it full of useful information you’ll need to take care of your gear.
April 2008
1. Final Summation - myspace.com/finalsummation
Final Summation are a three piece punk band (with awesome hawks) from Sacramento. They are Jordan the DPR on bass and vocals, Bear on guitar and vocals, and Kiel on drums. They are an extremely hard working band, playing countless local and national shows. They will be recording their third full length album for Smelvis Records, based out of Wilmington.
2. Remember Scooter - myspace.com/rememberscooter
Remember Ska? This seven piece band from Elk Grove does, and they’re keeping it alive and well. “They are all young and they all bring it,” according to a fan. The lead singer, Skater Mike, runs a local cable show in Sacramento called Sacxtreme TV. Definitely the perfect example of young kids getting it done. They have a bunch of shows lined up, so lace up your old Doc Martens and prepare for some skanking.
3. Mojo & Tess - myspace.com/mojotessblues
Jonny Mojo Flores & Tess have been playing in Northern California for 5 years now. While they are firmly rooted in the blues, they are known to pull anything from Johnny Cash to Nirvana out of their bag of tricks. Jonny is a very gifted guitar player, his style echoes players such as Eric Clapton, Jimmy Hendrix and Bob Dylan. Tess is a powerful singer who gives those who listen her soul! Their love of music shines through in every performance. You can see them every first Friday of the month at the Cozmic Cafe in Placerville, CA.
4. C/A/T - crunchpod.com/cat/blog
This experimental/industrial/club type band came under my radar about 2 years ago when my little brother all the way in Massachusetts recommended I check them out. Apparently, they’ve been around since 1998, but recently had a line up change due to one of the main mambers getting diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. However, the band carries on and plans on releasing a new album entitled The Great Crisis on May 27. The main musician in the group is Ben Arp.
5. Plagues Of Tomorrow - myspace.com
Experimental band from Fairfield. Members of numerous local bands (Carlos: Guitar, Kevin: Drums, James: Bass, Andre: Vocals), decided to expand their music into the metal genre. Like any serious band, they’ve been through many necessary chnages in members and music. Plagues of Tomorrow is an original band that is definitely worth listening to.
April 2008
IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW ALREADY
• Sacramento’s Sexciety won the Kennel Club’s Battle of the bands and scored $2,000. So next time you see them, pat them on the back, or have them buy you a beer.
• The second annual Bay Area Rock Fest has been announced for June 28, and will be returning to The Independent in San Francisco. It will feature Zero Hour, Liquid Tension Experiment, Sun Caged. www.bayarearockfest.com
• First Ever Rockstar Energy Mayhem Festival announced dates last week. In addition to Slipknot and Disturbed, the main stage features Dragonforce and Mastodon, With a second stage featuring Machine Head, Airbourne, Five Finger Death Punch, Walls Of Jericho and the JÄGERMEISTER Battle of The Bands Winner. There will also be a HOT TOPIC STAGE featuring Underoath, Black Tide, Suicide Silence, The Red Chord and 36 Crazyfists. Go to www.mayhemfest.com for more info.
• Stone Temple Pilots have officially revealed that the band will be reuniting and will launch a massive 2008 concert tour encompassing over 65 dates and hitting all corners of North America.
LINE UP CHANGES
• Who is Panik’s new drummer? Come to the Kennel Club on May 3rd and find out!
• The Bay Area’s Hostility has announced their new skin beater, Blake Ferris Previously the band’s bassist Brandon Sigmund filled in for Adam Duce in Machine Head on the Black Tyranny tour in late 2007.
IN & OUT OF THE STUDIO
• Greenhouse Effect, from the Bay has released their new record, Ants in the Afterbirth, which is currently available through Purple Astronaut Records.
• Skinlab will release their new live album, SkinnedAlive!, on April 29 via BCD Music Group; the CD was recorded on June 3, 2007 at The Metro in Oakland.
• Sacramento’s Embrace The End will release their second album April 15th entitled “Ley Lines”, with artwork courtesy of Paul Romano (Mastodon, Trivium).
